Rock-climbing

Qu Jiangli

04/17/2013

My First Rock-climbing

I want to try everything new, and I did in the past 8 months. I tried to learn swimming, and learned breath stroke. I tried to travel alone, and enjoyed travelling from east to west. I tried to taste food I don’t know, and fell in love with some. But there is one thing I didn’t do and have been planning to do for a long time.

Every time when I passed the Climbing Wall, I wondered what was inside. There is a sculpture outside, on which, there are some colorful handholds. Once or twice, I even saw someone climbing on it. It looked quite fun! When the weather was handholds on the rock: red, green, blue, orange, pink, purple, yellow…

There is another reason why rock-climbing is more attractive to me. Jack and Matt, two boys in my writing class, kept on writing something about rock-climbing. They wrote about their special love to rocks, their adventures and enjoyment in climbing, and even their nightmares about rock-climbing. While I was reading Jack’s paper, I started imagining climbing in the raw nature without rope or those colorful hand-holds; imagining them climbing on the snow-white mountain top, walking on the iced pathway, the gray rocks and rolling stones…

Today, when I checked my schedule and found I have all evening free (Usually, I prefer to go to some lectures and Whitman has very good lectures!) I thought maybe it’s the time for me to try this new thing! But I heard that rock-climbing requires two people to climb together, so I called Violeta, who was also interested in everything new. She was very excited and would like to go together. And she even told me that today was “Ladies’ Night”, which means it would not be so awkward to fall down and lie on your back in front of boys. It seemed she had been observing this sport for a while and was eager to go.

At 8pm, we two appeared at the Climbing Wall. The girl who worked at the front desk came up to help. When she learned that it was the first time for us to climb, she handed us two forms to fill.

The first page was “Assumption of Risk and Waiver of Liability for the Whitman College Climbing Center”. I even didn’t read and signed, but Violeta was very careful. She read them one by one and even exclaimed with horror “Oh my goodness!” She pointed to the line and read loudly “ I understand that the dangers and the risks of participation in the Program could include but is not limited to, death, serious neck or spinal injuries which may result in complete or partial paralysis or brain damage…”her eyes opened widely and she said again “Oh my God!” The painful expression emerged on her face, which seemed that she had already started imagining these horrible accidents happened to her. “Oh come on. Do not read it at all. The more you read, the less you want to try.” I told her in the tone of an experienced person. She frowned and kept on reading, silently. A few seconds later, she said with strong determination “Ok, I think I will stop reading it. You are right. Before I read it, I was excited and eagered to try. Now, I am very nervous and even want to give up.” “Oh no, you can’t give up even before you try!” I encourged her. Then she signed, biting her lower lip, frowned, again. I started laughing and said “To tell the truth, I even dare not to read it, because I know it will scare me. Usually, it will not happen.” She noded but still looked not relieved.

Then we turned to the second form, it was “Safety Policies and Rules”  This time none of us read more than 2 seconds and signed.

“Ok, it seems you all have done?” The girl in the front desk smiled and took the paper we handed. “Oh, the Helmet Waiver” she pointed at a small piece in the middle of the first form, “you two both want helmets?” she asked. “Yes” we two answered in chorus. “En, it’s the first time you climb, so maybe you will be in this wall” She turned to look at a not high rock on her left side. “Oh, then maybe helmet is not needed!” I understood and said. Then we were set to watch a video about 8 minutes, which was mainly about the safety and skills of climbing.

Now we were ready to have a try. The rock looked not high but very steep. It was easy to find handholds but the problem was I couldn’t hold for seconds! It seemed I was too fat to climb. But Violeta is a slim girl, still it was impossible for her to either hold longer or move a step.

We tried on that wall about 30 minutes, and made no progress. Violeta sighed and had an idea “As we are here, maybe we should take pictures! At least we tried!.” So I rushed back to fetch my camera and we had a good time in posing in front of the wall and pretended climbing high. After I posted all photos several people asked me “Why didn’t you wear a helmet or a rope?” My reply was “It was above the ground 50 cm,haha!”

Seeing us struggling and almost on the verge of giving up, the girl worked in the front desk came up and showed us some skills in climbing. But we failed even after her instruction. Then another girl who was an expert in climbing (I saw her climbed to the top of the rock just now when I had nothing to do but stood and watched) gave us the suggestion to try another wall. Although that wall was high, it was not so steep.

I tried first. With the help of all those handholds, I can hold for a while, but moving was still not so easy. Before you move, you should find the best footholds and handholds, and try to keep your body paralyzed to the wall. I even twisted my body once, which made it hard to move or hold. I tried several times and can climb higher to the red line (the line for beginners). Violeta tried and she did a good job, too. At least, better than what we did just now.

As we were trying hard and enjoying ourselves, we saw people start leaving. “Oh, it’s almost 10pm.” I looked at my watch. “They close at 10. Maybe we should leave.”Voileta started to collect her things.

I really enjoyed this rock-climbing. Although I didn’t climb a lot and didn’t have deep reflection, it was a kind of enjoyment. The only pity was we didn’t start climbing the “right” wall early. If there is another chance, I would like to try it again. Maybe, I will fall in love with rock-climbing, as what I did to other stuffs.

My Host Family—–Sue & Mike

Qu Jiangli

04/09/2013

                                                                                                            Sue & Mike

“Take a left at the third light and you will be on 12, honey.”

“Honey, thank you for the drive. It is fabulous! The speed limit is 25.”

“Look, there is a deer! Oh, a group of them, at least 4. Watch the road, dad.”

Sue is always the person who sits in the back but holds the floor. Of course, usually she sits next to Mike when I am not here. She is so good at directions, which makes me questioning if there is a map of the world in her mind.

Sue & Mike are my host family. Before I came here, I filled out a form about myself and agreed to have a host family. But to tell the truth, I didn’t expect a lot, because I was going to live with my residents, and mostly hang out with them. And I was sure I could learn about American culture from them.

“Dingdong, dingdong,” the doorbell rang. “It must be my host family!” I said and rushed to open the door. Outside, two smiling faces were waiting for me, a tall man standing behind a golden haired lady. “Hi, I am Sue. And this is Mike.” Both of them looked like they were in their early 60s.

I gave them big hugs, which surprised them a lot. After hosting so many Chinese scholars and students, they knew that Chinese people didn’t hug, which made me different. In fact, I just learned how to hug from watching American soap operas.

We sat at the table and started talking about ourselves. We also talked about the people they had hosted whom I happened to know. Sue was very active and talkative, while Mike was silent. I really can’t remember whether he said anything or not that day.(I was proved wrong later! Mike is very knowledgeable in history, geology, sociology, etc. And he can keep on talking all our way to Oregon.)

They told me that they would be gone for the next 3 weeks because they were traveling in Turkey. I was surprised that people at their age were still traveling such a long distance. Sue saw my surprise, smiled, and said “I am 72, and Mike is 75.” They looked much younger than their age.( Later, after I learned that Sue runs a Marathon every year and saw Mike bicycling like he was at his 20s, I saw that they also acted much younger than their real ages.)

In China, when you turn 60, people expect you not to do intense sports, because you might break your legs or have a heart attack. So most older people in China look even older than they are.

I also found that Chinese people don’t travel a lot. I can think of three reasons: One, traveling is not easy. In China, the train is the main mode of transportation and it’s not easy to buy a ticket because we have such a big population. Two, traveling is exhausting. You can find Chinese runs most travel agencies in the U.S. It is easy and safe to take a tour, and you can see a lot of places of interest within one day, but the problem is that you will not have enough time to explore every place. They are efficient but exhausting. Three, traveling is dangerous. Like I mentioned above, older people are usually encouraged to do some easy sports, but traveling requires you to be adventurous and strong. Usually, you can’t eat well, or sleep well, and you will have to walk a lot or stay in a car for a long time.

“Are you interested in museums? Maybe we can go to the Walla Walla Museum when we are back.” Asked Sue. She had planned our first trip. It was really a very good trip and on our way, we even went into a casino.

I have learnt about American culture from different perspectives, and Sue & Mike have played an essential role. It’s true I am living with my residents, who are all Americans, but they are always busy with their schoolwork. And in fact, just like in China or in other countries, college is a special time in life, it is different from the real life at home before or after. Sue & Mike offered me a window through which I saw the real American culture.

I celebrated my first Christmas with Sue & Mike and Sue’s family. It was during the winter break and I had traveled back from the East Coast. Exhausted and lonely, I was picked up by Sue and her son Jeff at the airport on Christmas Eve. Usually, American people would stay at home with family, but they came to the airport. The moment I saw them there, I was moved to tears.

The next day, we headed to Sue’s niece Heidi’s home in the Tri-Cities. I was warmly welcomed by all of her relatives and we were offered a feast on this special festival. It was snowing heavily outside and you can see colorful lights in the neighborhood through the window; and inside, it was warm and happy— a traditional Christmas in my mind. (Of course, from the American soap operas.)

I played a card game with her family under the unclear American rule (I figured it out after playing it for about 30 minutes). Although I eventually lost, it was the first time I had played cards with a group of Americans.

I watched a fatabulous basketball game at the stadium with Sue’s family. I was wearing a T-shirt with the team logo and yelled and clapped happily. It was the first time I had watched a basketball game in person. (I had watched a football match in China before, but Chinese football, you know!)

I fell in love with a huge dog for the first time at Sue’s daughter’s home in Portland during this winter break. She was as huge as a black bear, but I saw mildness and tenderness in her eyes the first time we looked at each other. I had never kept a pet at home, because I am usually a little scared of animals. But that time, it proved that the huge dog really loved me, and she even came to my room to sleep next to my bed.

All these “first-time experiences” made my life vibrant and full in this country far away from home. Sue & Mike are like my family in the U.S. now.

This spring break, when I was planning my trip to Canada, Sue & Mike helped me again. Their daughter Jennifer, who lives in Montreal, came to pick me up at the airport and drove me back and forth every day. She was as sweet as her parents!

Just last weekend, Sue & Mike drove 3 hours to take me to see the deepest canyon in America and drove to Idaho on our way back to let me have more things to talk about when back in China (I traveled in 3 states in one day!) They are really so nice to me!

Yesterday, Sue drove almost 3 hours to take me to see her brother Bob’s farm. It was a shock for me to see how good the living conditions are for American farmers and I could not move my eyes from all those advanced machines working on the farm. While in China, no one really wants to be a farmer because farmers live a hard life, they can’t make as much money as most workers do. People living in the farm try to move to cities, and farmers’ children study harder to change their lives—they don’t want to be farmers as like their parents.

And next week, Sue & Mike are planning to take me to a trip to Sue’s sister Trish’s farm, because although Bob and Trish both are farmers, their farms are different and their products are different.

I am really so lucky to have a host family like Sue & Mike! They offered me more opportunities to know this country and their culture. What I learned most are the good qualities they have: good-heart, hospitality, optimist, confidence and the most important is—to love your life!

Tiny details

In my first week in the US, I noticed lots of tiny details about life at Whitman and Walla Walla which caught my attention for being different, weird, strange, and extraordinary. This is random stuff that American students probably take for granted because for them it’s obvious and very normal, but definitely not so much for foreign visitors. Here are 5 examples that, to my mind, are very striking:

• IHC houses look exactly like in the computer game “The Sims”. I’ve always lived in an apartment, so I was really excited to discover things like the porch swing, the fireplace, and the creepy basement. I’ve taken so many pictures of houses in the US!

• At Whitman it’s OK to walk on the lawn, or even splay on it if you want to. Not so much in parched Andalucía – south of Spain- where perfect lawns with sprinklers are regarded as a luxury. Drought is an issue almost every summer, so people can be extremely water-conscious.

• Students wearing their PJ pants in the dining halls and around campus. OMG! What’s more, I once saw someone wearing slippers at a professor’s office, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’d never dream of doing this if I were in my home university.

• Every time I buy things at a store the same thought crosses my mind: “beware, taxes are not included”. For that reason, I find that price tags in the US are downright devious, whereas in Spain I always know the exact amount that I’m going to pay at the checkout.

• I absolutely love getting free water in restaurants! I was also delighted to discover that if you can’t finish your meal, you can take it out in a box and the waiter won’t glare at you. Back home, waiters expect you to buy overpriced mineral water, and very seldom do they have boxes for you to take out your meal.

And I’ve just scratched the surface. If you’ve travelled abroad , can you think of other examples?

The French-American Divide: Expectations around Tipping

One of the things I have noticed in the US that is very different from France is the culture of leaving tips. In the US, it seems that you have to give a tip to the waiter or the waitress, no matter what. In France such a thing would never be expected of any customer. I worked as a waitress a few summers ago and if I wanted a tip from a client, I had to deserve it.  It wasn’t simply a mark of a customer’s appreciation of the meal in general or the ambiance of the restaurant. Because of this, I had to be very nice to every customer — smiling, attentive, and energetic.

I was very surprised the first time I was asked to give a tip in the US. The waiter hadn’t been very nice to me; he was distant and inconsiderate, so I didn’t feel that he deserved a tip.  Furthermore, when I paid by credit card, the desk clerk asked me to sign and to add an amount for the tip.  Since I didn’t have any cash and they had already swiped my card, I thought I would just leave it this way — but I understood only when I saw my bank statement that they charged me the tip anyway. I was very surprised by this method.

In France it would be inconceivable to have this system; it creates a system of entitlement. For us, the tip is a good way to build a relationship between waiters and customers.  If the customer is happy with the service, she will give a tip and be delighted to do it — and the waiter will be pleased to have his service recognized. But tips are only a recognition of exemplary service.  The lack of a tip is not an offense, as it seems to be in the US.

Presents vs. Thank-You Cards

In Japan, we have a cultural practice of giving gifts to hosts. When you visit someone else’s house in Japan, you would normally bring some kind of present to them, because you know you will be in their care and you want to recognize their generosity. Even when I was younger, my mom would make me bring presents for my friends and their family whenever I visited them. Although I know that this is not expected here in the US, having grown up in this culture where this type of thing is very common, I feel like I have to have something when I go over to someone’s house. This impulse is so deeply ingrained that I can’t stop myself, even when I try.

When I flew to the US, I brought a lot of gifts from Japan just for this purpose, but I’m all out now, and so when I stayed with a friend and her family over Thanksgiving, I didn’t have anything to give them. Since I was told that I didn’t need to bring anything, at first I was going to bring just myself. But it just felt so weird going to someone’s house with no gifts that I ended up getting something small on the way.

I was thinking about this gift-giving tradition that we have in Japan, and wondered if they really don’t have anything like this in the US. Then I realized that people here write thank-you cards instead (or at least a lot more than we do in Japan), which I think is a great custom. My family and I have hosted several people from the US in the past few years, and they all sent us thank-you cards after they went back to their homes. My parents were really impressed because we rarely write cards. I still think giving people gifts to show appreciation is nice, because you take time to think about them and appreciate their kindness in choosing gifts, but I also think it’s nice to write cards to express your gratitude. I don’t know if this is a strictly American custom or not, but if it is, this is one of the things that I admire about American culture.

Trip to California

          After three months of working hard as the Chinese native speaker (language assistant) in Walla Walla, I finally had a long enough break to travel and see other parts of the country. Because I will have only about nine months total in the U.S., I knew that I needed to make full use of my travel time. So, for Thanksgiving break, I decided to go to California, a place everyone must see when in the U.S, especially while one in the west. As Solena (the native speaker from France) and I had the same plan, we decided to travel together.

           But there was one problem: It was Thanksgiving, one of the most important festivals for American people, and I really wanted to experience this cultural event. How could I enjoy the festival and travel at the same time? One of my residents, Rachel, helped me to find a solution to this dilemma. As she lives in Los Angeles, she invited me to travel to L.A. and celebrate Thanksgiving Day with her family. Her family was so nice and we had a traditional and wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at her home. And then again, when we were in San Fransisco, another friend, Sarah, and her family hosted us and helped us with everything. People around me were so kind and helpful – and they treated me as a friend and family member, which moved me deeply!

         In San Francisco, I had a cultural shock in Union Square. While we were resting in a chair, two boys came up and asked, “Are you looking for wind?” It was rainy and a little chilly, so I was confused by this question.  Why would I want to be even colder than I already was?  Solena said, “No, thank you guys!” and ended the conversation but I was still confused. Later, I asked some friends at home what he could have meant, but no one could tell me.  Eventually I discovered that in fact the boys were asking if we wanted to buy weed.  No wonder I was so confused! 

Comparatively speaking, I prefer L.A. to San Francisco. Although the public transportation is really terrible, I still can’t help falling in love with the beautiful Laguna Beach. Rachel drove us there and we spent almost three hours on the beach, but for me, it wasn’t nearly enough! If I could, I would want to move my bed on the beach, so that I can see the sunrise when I open my eyes in the morning and enjoy the sunset with a cup of tea, listening to the waves all day long and smelling the seafood. It’s such a paradise there!

        Honestly, I didn’t travel a lot when I was in China before coming here. I was so busy with everything – my work, my family. Even during the holidays, I couldn’t relax. But here, I work hard and play hard, as I see that most Americans do. It’s a great way to live! I am sure this nine month experience will change my lifestyle. When I am back home next year, I plan to travel a lot, because it gives you time to see, to think, and to enjoy!

What I found different here?

          How time flies! It seems like it was just yesterday that I landed in the U.S. and entered my new home at the Asian Studies House, but now almost two months have passed. What have I discovered in the past two months?  What’s fun and different about living in a second culture?  (And what’s interesting and even annoying?)  Read on to find out!

         In the first two months, as I expected, many people asked me the question, “How are you?”  In fact, when I started learning English many years ago, that was the first greeting (besides “hello”) that I learned. So I answered loudly, happily, and correctly (according to the textbook): “Fine, thank you. And you?” And yet usually when I finished this “long” sentence, the person would have already gone. For the first one or two weeks, I was a bit confused. I thought people here didn’t want to be friends with me because they never cared what I said as a response. But gradually, I learned that it’s just the way people greet each other, and an answer – while usually expected in some form – was not necessary. Now, I can answer in a quick way, “Fine, and you?” or “Fine. Thank you.” People ask “How are you?” even when they are jogging by and don’t have time for a response.

            Something else that seems different here are the parties. Maybe I watched too many American soap operas, in which they have countless parties, even for students. They all look so happy! But here, I’ve found it to be different. Students in Whitman College work hard. You can see them studying everywhere – on the grass, in the library, and even in the dinning hall. They get up early and go to bed late. Sometimes, yes, they have parties – but so many students are crowded in one house and they even don’t know each other! If there is a party here, everyone is invited! They sing, dance, and talk loudly over the loud music that plays in the background. I have tried such parties several times, but how can I be happy there? In China, if there’s a party, everyone must be a friend or a would-be friend. At these parties we all discuss the same topic at the same time, and we have a lot to share with each other. Here, people talk in different groups about different things.  It seems chaotic.

           During my first semester here, I audited two courses: Debating and Beginning Swimming. These two courses are both listed as being for beginners, but when I started the classes, I found that wasn’t the truth. In the first swimming class, after we practiced for ten minutes, the teacher asked everyone to move from the shallow pool to the regular one. “I am a real beginner!” I yelled, and refused to go into the “dangerous” pool. Everyone tried to convince me that it was safe, but still, I was very afraid! For many weeks, I practiced in the shallow pool with the help of one of the lifeguards, Andya. She is always so helpful and patient; even now, she encourages me during every class. Lucky me! Now, after two months, I am swimming in the deep end without fear.

           Likewise, in Debating class, I was completely lost. Because I missed the first class, I missed my chance to hear the theoretical foundation and rules for the course. During the first class I attended, we were given a topic and divided into different groups. With the coach’s help, we started talking about our opinion on this topic. I listened and tried to say something, but after my speech, my coach looked at me with surprise and said, “You were assigned to give a speech on the positive side, but I think you just spoke on the opposite side.” I was so ashamed! I’m sure that I blushed. After we came back to the classroom and discussed the exercise, we divided into different groups again and I was with a different coach. This time I listened more carefully and said something on the positive side, but the new coach looked at me with as much surprise as the first one and said, “I think you are now on the negative side.” Damn! I looked so stupid! I tried hard for two weeks and still felt depressed after every class. I wanted to give up. Then I went to talk to the professor, and he told me, “ Don’t try to compare yourself to others; compare the present you with the you in the past. Even a small improvement is great!” Some other classmates and coaches encouraged me too, so I kept on with the class.  Finally, at the last class, I could understand almost all of their speeches! This approach signifies a big difference in attitude here. In China, you try to compete with everyone — whether in work, study, or even quality of life. Here, the only person you should conquer is yourself!  I find that refreshing.

             One of the things that frustrates me about this new culture is the assumptions it makes about my own home culture.  According to what I hear here, China is a big but backward country. While that may be true in some cases, it’s certainly not the case everywhere, especially in the big cities. The first day I went to the gym, I asked the girl working there how to use one of the machines. After she showed it to me, she said, “ I know that in China, you don’t have this kind of thing.” This made me angry, and I told her, “No, we have all these things.” To this she replied, “Yes, maybe so. But I’m sure you don’t have access to them.” This really pissed me off.  I am a member of a gym in China, but I don’t go there frequently, because I am lazy. That’s the reason why I don’t know how to work all of the different machines. I admit that if I went to the gym more often, I would know how to use everything, but I’m annoyed that everyone’s first impression is that I don’t know how to use the machines here because I come from a disadvantaged country. 

             I’ve found a lot of things that are different here than they are in China. The variety between cultures teaches us about what things are universal and what things are distinct, and I am enjoying learning more about both the US culture, and my own culture, through this experience.